Medication: A Quick Fix. Never a Long-Term Solution

I honestly can't remember the last time I had a bad day. If I have had a bad day then that day was quickly over turned by a good one. It never used to be the way though. I can remember when bad days were the norm for me. I would wake up being afraid of what the world would have to offer. I would be afraid of doing the simplest tasks like going to the store and having to ask for a pack of cigarettes or going to work and having to sell products to customers. Well those days are long gone and I'm a much happier person for it.

How did I do it? Honestly, I think the best thing that I did for myself was to stop taking my medication. Is that something that every person with bipolar should do? Absolutely not! But I think I came to a point where I didn't need it anymore. I was actually relying on it for a crutch then anything else. I would go to my doctor on a regular basis and ask her to increase my medications because I wasn't feeling well. She whole heartily agreed with me and sent me on my way with another prescription for either a new medication or an increase of an existing one. Sometimes that would work but it would only happen for a short period of time. It was a never ending cycle of appointments and heart ache that continued with me for the longest time. I never thought I was going to break out of it.

Slowly but surely I started to break the chain. At first it was just taking the medication that was prescribed to me and not taking an extra dose or asking my doctor for more. Then it turned into me missing a dose or two of a certain medication. Then it came down to me just not taking what was prescribed to me. Was this the best course of action? Probably not, but I was making my decisions prior to these events so nothing had really changed.

Well now i'm on nothing. The only thing that i'm taking right now is a multi vitamin and some omega 3-6-9 pills that are supposed to be great. I also take a 5 hour energy on the regular which definitely improves my focus at work. But other then that i'm completely clean. Can you do this? You might be able to, but of course consult your doctor first. And if you don't consult your doctor please be very careful. Monitor yourself very stringently so if anything does happen you have the resources you need to help you get back on.

And always remember: there is more out there then just medication. Never rely on a pill to give you happiness. It might be a quick fix, but it is never a long term solution.

Its Been a Roller Coaster Ride

Recently its been a series of ups and downs for me. Not in the aspect of my bipolar but about the happenings in my life (my bipolar hasn't been an issue). Just last week I lost my job. It really came as a shock to me. People that know me will tell you what happened but I'm just going to bypass those details. After losing my job I could have let life get the best of me...I didn't. I decided the best thing to do for me was to take a step back and evaluate what had just happened and make a decision from that. Well after brief thought I had remembered a job that I was hired for but didn't take because the money wasn't good enough. Well in a time like this I really had to take what I could get. So when I got home I contacted the district manager and within two hours the store manager called and offered me the job. SUCCESS!

So sometimes you can let things eat you up inside or you can take action. I decided to take action. I wasn't going to let an unfortunate incident decide how I was going to feel. I was going to take life by the horns and make it work for me. These are things to ponder when dealing with a mental illness. Are you going to let it control you or you control it? I'll take the latter.

It's Never to Late to Start Your Life

I'm coming up on my 30th birthday....NO!!!!!!!!!...and some time ago I was worried what I was gonna do with the rest of my life. I wondered if I was going to be at home for the rest of my life. I wondered if I was going to have a good paying job. I wondered if I was going to be alone for the rest of my years. Well so far a lot of these unanswered questions are coming to fruition.

The last week of my life has probably been one of the busiest of my life. The job I hold down is a good job, not a great job, but a good job. It doesn't offer me full-time hours so looking elsewhere was a top priority. In comes a guy I work with. He lets me in on some information that could certainly change the direction of my life. He tells me that a major company is in full hiring mode (rare in this economy) and they are looking for assistant managers. I figured something like this would be perfect! I pretty much perform all the job duties at my current job but certainly don't get paid for it. Well I took the initiative, and went on the interview, and I really knocked it out of the park. I've been invited back for a second interview and as long as that goes smoothly, which I think it will, I'll have no problem getting this job.

So a new job/career is in order, i'm going back to school to take psychology classes in September, i'm in the process of finding my OWN place to live, and i'm trying to find myself a new girlfriend (more on that later). So it seems like i'm starting my life, and i'm ALMOST 30!

It's Really Up To You

Being that it's almost 3 in the morning this post might not be the sharpest one i've written but i'll give it a try anyways.

I have a friend, he's in his 40s, and he's dealing with problems. He always complains or states that he feels so alone and he's got problems with this and problems with that blah blah blah. I care for the guy, he's one of my best friends, but I don't like seeing him like this. The guy has so much potential, so much promise, so much to give to the world that because he's feeling this way it gets hidden. I try and give him advice like "you should go talk to somebody," because I feel talking to somebody can be the best therapy, however, some people are so stubborn that they'll never get that far. Take my dad for example, it took him so long to go get help for the problems he's encountered through life. Now that he finally received the help, and gave up that stubbornness, he's a much better person for it. But it really is up to the person to extend their hand out and get that help they so much need. People can only push and push and push so far before they can't push no more. It's up to the person in need to finally push themselves to the place they need to go, a place of help.

So it really is never to late to get help, but it is really up to you.

Does This Offend You? You Make the Call

Critics aren't crazy about Psycho Donuts

Mental illness and doughnuts do not mix. That's the message mental health activists John Mitchem and Brian Miller sent Psycho Donuts as they stood in front of the Campbell store handing out "stigma-free" doughnuts, according to the San Jose Mercury News.

The brouhaha stems from the mental illness themed treats and business. The Bipolar's toppings, for instance, are half nuts, half coconut shavings, while Massive Head Trauma's red jelly filling oozes from the side (see photos below). The store itself comes with nurses, a padded cell and "group therapy" area.

Jordan Zweigoron, who launched the shop with co-owner Kipp Berdianski in March, explained to the Merc:

"There's a fine line, I think, between having a sense of humor and not, and we're really just looking at doing something that's light-hearted and fun."

But many folks aren't laughing. Miller said:

"Imagine a shop that made fun of cancer; it wouldn't be funny."

Meanwhile, mental health research charity NARSAD returned Psycho Donut's $50 donation. The Net's also buzzing with outrage. Everyone from a psychologist to a depression columnist have weighed in on the controversy, while Rebekah Robertson started an online petition.

Psycho Donuts owners believe critics need to lighten up and understand this:

We might be insulting the flour inside of that very sensitive donut, but let's agree on one thing: donuts are not people; and the names of our donuts do not correspond to any opinion or pre-conceived notion about people.

The Eyes are the Gateway to the Soul

So many people have told me this. To look into somebody's eyes you are looking directly into their soul. Well when people look into my eyes it gets me wondering what they really see. Tonight somebody told me something that rang true.

She looks into my eyes and tells me that there is something I don't like about myself or something that I can accept. I think there is some truth to that. I think it all stems back to my question regarding my sexuality. There is no doubt about it that i'm bisexual. For better or worse these are the facts of life and I have to accept that. What I can't accept is bringing myself to accept this side of me and being able to tell somebody the way it is. Hiding from this truth will only cause more pain and suffering, something that I can't accept doing. Telling somebody what my secret is takes alot of courage. So much that it's frightening to tell somebody in fear of losing them as a friend. Well you could say that if this person doesn't accept what I have to tell them then their really not a friend to begin with. I have to totally agree with that but it's just getting to that point to tell them which is the really difficult part.

This is who I am and this is what i'm all about so if they don't like it then fuck um. I just have to get to that point where i'm comfortable with myself and maybe, just maybe, when somebody looks into my eyes they will see nothing but acceptance, joy, and happiness.